Chronicles of Cupcake Cooking
by Tsuki-no-oni
Summary: AU. Sensei Kikyo and her two shining pupils are making cupcakes in Home Ec today! What great fun when hands are burned and frosting becomes a weapon! one-shot. Akina&Tsuki fic.


Akina and Tsuki are here…AGAIN!

**Akina**: this time, we were making cupcakes!

**Tsuki**: and Akina sucks at making cupcakes!

**Akina**: (whacks the back of Tsuki's head)

**Tsuki:** and so we bring you…A ONE-SHOT!

* * *

Sensei Kikyo walked into the Home Ec. classroom at exactly eight in the morning. She would have a precious fifteen minutes of silence before…

"KONNICHI-WA, SENSEI!" two masculine voices echoed. One head silver, the other black as night, two boys were vying for the most space in front of her desk, apples clutched in their hands.

"That's nice, Inuyasha and Naraku. You're both…early. Why are you early?" She posed this last question with just a hint of desperation to her voice, trying to restrain the nervous tick that had developed under her left eye since the school year began.

"I thought that I would surprise you with a healthy breakfast, Sensei. HE just tagged along and copied." Naraku answered swiftly.

"DID NOT!" Inuyasha yelled.

Kikyo snapped a little bit. "THAT'S OKAY! Why don't you boys have a seat? We're going to be cooking this morning. Maybe you can look over the recipes before class starts."

"Hai, Sensei!" they both responded.

"And sense you're both here so early, why don't you get a head start? You can be partners for the class,"

They stared uncertainly at each other, the loathing between them sending a nearly visible spark between their gazes, but…anything to make Kikyo happy!

"Hai, Sensei!" they said enthusiastically.

A small argument over the cook book began shortly after Kikyo saw the boys sit down at one table. She tried to focus on the tests she was grading, tried to…

"You're going to rip it!"

It was the loudest whisper she had ever heard. Twitching slightly, she looked up. "Could you please be qui—"

The bell rang. _My fifteen minutes of peace and quiet…GONE! Because…of…these…two!_ Kikyo silently lamented her own loss as children began to slowly file into the room.

Kagome Higurashi looked around in confusion. Inuyasha was usually her lab partner in this class, but…why was he sitting with Naraku? Didn't they hate each other?

Sango grabbed her arm. "Maybe we can pick our own seats today. PLEASE sit with me Kagome! Don't exile me to a table with…HIM."

Sango cast a horrified, wide-eyed look over at Miroku. The boy was sitting innocently at their table, grinning at his lab partner. "Come along, Sango dearest. The class is about to begin!"

"You sit with Kouga today, Miroku! I'm going to steal Sango!" Kagome said cheerfully, whisking her best friend away to an empty table. Once everyone else was seated and situated, Kikyo raised her head from the desk, where she had still been lamenting the loss of her fifteen minutes in heaven.

"Today, we are going to be baking…_cupcakes_. This is not a hard task, nor should it require much…noise. You will work with your partners SILENTLY until the bell rings."

Simple directions, right? They had to take the books out of their backpacks, read the directions, add the three ingredients to the box mixes that they needed, and put the cupcakes in the oven. It shouldn't be hard, right?

"I want to put in the eggs!"

"But you're sick. You can't do that. You'll infect them."

"I'm not sick, what are you talking about?"

"Anything with half-breed blood like you is definitely sick."

Inuyasha glared at Naraku, grabbing the carton of eggs from his hands. "I want to put in the eggs," he repeated through clenched teeth. Never mind what Naraku had just said, he could punch the bastard out after class—but not under the wonderful, watchful eye of the beautiful Sensei Kikyo.

Inuyasha turned and picked up a water measuring cup. Filling it, he attempted to land the water in the bowl filled with cupcake mix.

Naraku discreetly moved his hand over the cup of water. "_Miasma!_" he intoned, and the water disappeared. Inuyasha glared at him and moved to find another measuring cup. By the time he returned, Naraku was already mixing the batter.

"I can't let you add in everything. You're sick, and you'll make Sensei's cupcakes diseased."

Naraku picked up a ladle to dish the cupcake batter into the little paper cups. Inuyasha also grabbed a ladle and scooped up some of the pink confetti batter.

"You're an awful scooper," Inuyasha muttered. "Look, you're wasting the batter!"

"Shut up, so are you,"

"No, I'M only doing it because YOU dribbled batter all down the side of the bowl. Can't be wasting it, and you're a terrible scooper."

Naraku twitched and continued to pour batter into the paper cups. "You're only talking big to cover up your own batter-scooping issues."

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

Inuyasha muttered another, 'Am not!' and nodded.

Naraku did a double-take. "Did…did you just agree with me? You've admitted to your terrible scooping ways!"

"I did not!"

"Yes you did!"

"TETSUSAIGA!"

Inuyasha beat Naraku's ladle out of the bowl with his own ladle. "You won't defeat me, Naraku!"

Naraku glared at the hanyou. "You're so…stupid. It's so hard not to haul off and beat you with this ladle."

"Ladle ladle ladle, I made you out of clay…" Kikyo hummed for a moment, before coming to her senses and interrupting. "BOYS! Can I not trust you to work together peacefully in my classroom? Didn't I say that I wanted SILENCE?"

They hung their heads. "Hai, Sensei."

"You should both be ashamed. Finish up here and go hold buckets in the hallway until your cupcakes are out of the oven."

"Hai, Sensei."

* * *

About 20 minutes later, Kagome was watching Naraku and Inuyasha's oven with genuine worry. "Sango, do you think we should take them out of the oven?"

"What?"

"Inuyasha and Naraku's cupcakes. They'll burn if they stay in any longer."

The two girls walked over to the oven and peered through the glass. The tray of cupcakes was, in fact, beginning to smoke.

"AH SANGO GET IT OUT!"

"WHY ME? WHY DON'T YOU?"

"BECAUSE YOU'RE TOUGHER!"

"GIRLS! Why are you SHOUTING!"

"Sensei, please take these cupcakes out of the oven," Kagome said with wide, pleading eyes.

Kikyo nodded. "Sure. One second, let me show you how it's done,"

She opened the oven door, peering through the smoke…smoke? Wait—SMOKE! Kikyo grabbed the piping hot cupcake tray and yanked it out of the oven, slamming it down on the table. Horrified watching the batter bubble over and out of the cupcake containers, she suddenly realized that she hadn't been wearing oven mittens.

"OH MY GOD!"

Naraku, thinking that in referring to 'God', Kikyo was calling him, stuck his head in the door. "Hai, Sensei!"

"SHE DOESN'T MEAN YOU!" Inuyasha yelled, slamming the dark-haired boy on the head.

"BOYS! Please! I have to go to the office for some burn cream, just…frost your cupcakes and sit on your hands after that."

"Hai, Sensei," they both said, disappointed. Every day, it was the same thing. No matter how hard they tried, they always ended up angering and injuring the beauteous Sensei Kikyo. Inuyasha hung his head and trooped over to his horribly deformed cupcakes, picking up a carton of frosting.

"This is all your fault," he muttered when Naraku joined him. "Every day, this is ALL YOUR FAULT!"

"It is not! You're always sabotaging my gourmet dishes and filling our classmate's heads with silly lies about my dishonesty! One day…one day I'll vindicate myself…"

Inuyasha blinked. "Whoa, vocabulary. Shut up and frost the stupid cupcakes."

Naraku muttered to himself and took the lid off the frosting.

"You're using way too much."

"YOU'RE using way too little."

"Mine are going to be better,"

"No, mine are."

"Well, you've used up all the frosting. See? You're scraping it off the edges,"

"Shut up, or I'll sneeze on your tray."

"You're only saying that because you know mine are better,"

"No, mine are the better ones," Naraku said proudly. "See? I have more frosting on mine."

"No, you're wrong!" Inuyasha whipped a knife-full of frosting out of the jar. "TETSUSAIGA!" he hollered, wailing the top of Naraku's head with a huge scoop of frosting.

"Look who's wasting frosting now! MIASMA!"

Inuyasha's hair suddenly took on a pink, sugary flavor. His eyes narrowed.

"Oh, you're going down now."

* * *

It looked…like a battlefield. There was no other way to describe it. Kids were lying all over the floor, covered in frosting. Kagome was actually unconscious, having been knocked out when she tried to kill Inuyasha for his initial Kagome/frosting/Tetsusaiga attack. Sango wasn't better off, having been restrained with a toaster for the time being.

Inuyasha and Naraku were still going at it, standing now atop Kikyo's sacred desk.

When she walked into the room, she wasn't happy.

"EVERY SINGLE DAY! WHAT DOES IT TAKE? YOU ALWAYS MAKE UP ALL NICE IN THE MORNING, AND THEN…AND THEN!" Kikyo was beyond mad…she was purple. She was foaming at the mouth, waving her arms over her head, heavily bandaged hands like the ends of oh so many cattails in a warm summer's breeze.

Inuyasha and Naraku both stopped and blushed at her as she continued on her angry tirade. _Cattails in a warm summer's breeze…on a peaceful lakeside sanctuary, filled with wildflowers and calm, gentle forests for miles around. Only the sweetest songbirds fill the air and the most beautiful scents…there are no insects buzzing, or planes over head…simply…Sensei…_

"SMILING! WHY ARE YOU SMILING! GO TO THE OFFICE!"

* * *

**Tsuki: **yep, it's a one shot. Wanna know how we got our idea?

**Akina**: aside from the fact that we made cupcakes earlier…?

**Tsuki**: Right at…this part, "…"_You're using way too much."_

"_YOU'RE using way too little."_

"_Mine are going to be better,"_

"_No, mine are."_

"_Well, you've used up all the frosting. See? You're scraping it off the edges,"_

"_Shut up, or I'll sneeze on your tray."_…" I stopped and said, "Sorry I'm being so bitchy today."

**Akina**: wouldn't it have been great if Inuyasha said that too! (cackles)

**Tsuki:** well…yes. READ AND REVIEW! I HAVE A KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR NOW, HE CAN COME AND FIND YOU! DON'T RESIST, YOU ILLITERATE MONKIES! REVIEWWWW!

**Akina:** (locks Tsuki in closet) I've had enough of this. Please, review. (smiles, twitching) so that once we have some feedback, I can kill her for good.

**Tsuki**: mmph!

V


End file.
